Everything we experience in life is a result of the way we see our reality and what we choose to believe is there or not there. So why do we always choose to see only what we believe is missing in our life? We see there is not enough happiness, not enough money, there's no loving relationship or a job that will bring us enough satisfaction. We moan about our partner, we complain about the family, we resent the mess in the home, and the lack of time to do the things we really want to do. In so many ways we live every day as if we are living in a deficit, and we give up hope, believing that we will never have a life that will ever get better than the way it is now. So is there hope of a better life, of true love, happiness and abundance?
When we only see a lack in our life, it's because it has become the primary focus of our mind, which then becomes our daily experience. What we see and therefore what we believe, begins to fill our very being on the inside, influencing our emotions and eventually affecting our health and wellbeing.
I know this feeling only too well. I have suffered for what seems like a life-time with the battle of not feeling good enough, and being afraid of rejection and abandonment, seeing only what has been missing in my life. Usually this is around loving relationships and financial freedom. It's a very painful way to live, and at times the condition, or my way of thinking and believing, has threatened to cripple me with self-imposed feelings of hopelessness and disempowerment.
We can go through life believing what we believe, based on past experiences that have shaped us, and as we get older, those beliefs can become set in concrete if they are left unchecked and unchallenged. It is easy to also believe that we have our stuff sorted, until we are triggered when placed under pressure. It's usually then that we realise we still have weak spots in our armour, and there is still more work to do, more learning and more healing.
Recently I was triggered by these old beliefs and fears which I have held deep in my sub-conscious since I was a child, and re-enforced during my adulthood. Changes in relationships in my life left a deep well of pain in my heart, and my first response was to lash out and cast blame. It was a painful experience to feel those same fears and inner pain. When we are in emotional pain, we can either resort to anger or depression and feelings of hopelessness - or both.
When the final trigger came, after a long build up of holding it in, living in denial and avoiding the truth, I hit the wall and it sent me down a spiral of unhealed pain and sadness. In my weakest moment I was faced with a choice. I could either allow it to get the better of me and continue to think and believe my tightly held beliefs and refuse to accept the truth, or I could refuse to allow this very negative and unhealthy pattern to continue to take away my happiness and power, by doing something that was going to break the cycle.
On reflection I could see how this pattern would repeat itself, only to come to the surface and to my attention when the pressure was really on. What I learned is that I had an opportunity to face the fear and address the deeper underlying cause of the behaviour and the pain. When I eventually stopped my ranting, I asked myself why I was experiencing such a strong response. It's important to look deeper than the surface where we want to find a reason to blame another person or our external circumstances. We need to be honest with ourself by sitting in the stillness of our being, and listen to our inner voice, the voice of our Higher Self and our Soul that is there to guide us to our truth.
Our reality or the lens through which we choose to see our life determines the pain we choose to feel, the people we attract and the outcomes we get as a result. Our reality is all about what we focus on and what we choose to believe.
When we are in the thick of our emotional pain, it's hard to accept our fear, and that we have work to do on ourself to become stronger, and not remain a victim of our negative thinking. This is precisely the time to quieten the ego and let go of resistance. When we feel the pain, it's the perfect time to listen to what the pain is trying to reveal to us, what we need to change and where we need to heal.
How do we recognise the effects of unhealthy thinking and behaviour patterns?
When we recognise a feeling that begins as an irritation, or an unsettled feeling that seems to build over time in relation to how we are regularly thinking or behaving, then it's likely a sign for us to pay attention to what it's telling us. If the nagging feeling and inner dis-ease persists and is left unchecked, the discontentment and soul malaise will slowly develop into an emotional burden that can weigh down our heart, create mental confusion, and unrest within our soul. Eventually, our mind believes what we continually give attention to, and will seek to find evidence to justify or confirm this belief. What we believe, becomes what we continually feel on the inside, which creates our lived experience and daily reality on the outside.
When our mind is seeded by a belief we are not worthy of love, and there will never be enough love or abundance for ourself, then we will create this reality.
When we choose to love ourself, it's possible to see life through a lens of love, forgiveness and acceptance, without the need or desire to control others or our circumstances.
Developing love for ourself may feel unfamiliar, however we can begin with small steps, such as giving more time for stillness. When we move into a place of stillness, we clear the backlog in our mind and make room for clarity and spiritual guidance. Love for ourself may take patience and practice. When we commit to giving love and care to ourself, we build the right kind of foundation for healthy thoughts, behaviours and intentions for our life going forward.
When we have love for ourself, we are able to develop an abundance of love for others, regardless of our circumstances, how other people behave or what they say. To be empowered is to truly see all of our worth and to believe that abundance is everywhere if we choose to see it. It is never out of our reach. If you have experienced what feels like a loss in your life, this is the perfect time to reflect and re-evaluate your thinking, your projections, and your perspectives. The loss is likely to be more about what you believe and how you respond to a change or situation in your life, rather than the actual circumstances.
When we appreciate our value and self-worth, we actively choose to empower ourself to create what we want to manifest in our life. It’s a conscious choice to see the possibilities and opportunities, and then act upon these choices by taking steps to bring our dreams to fruition. To do this we must recognise that we have the ability and the resources to do whatever we set our intention to do and who we want to be.
Empowering ourself is not just a thought or decision, it requires love and belief in ourself. Without self-love we are unlikely to be committed to achieving our very best in life.
John Holland, in his book “Power of the Soul”, reminds us of our inner power and our ability to create our own inner sanctuary. Our inner sanctuary is a place where we can retreat within to give ourself the rest and nourishment we need. It’s the place we love to be, and how we love to feel. It has all of the qualities that make us feel happy, joyful, peaceful, inspired, rested and spiritually fulfilled. It looks, feels, smells, and sounds exactly as we may imagine the most delightful place that our soul longs to experience.
What we believe we are experiencing has the same effect as if we are actually physically experiencing it in our body. Our hormonal response to our imagined world is as powerful as the physical reality. If this is the case, then it demonstrates the power of our intentions, the combination of our mind and the psychic energy we generate by what we feel, sense and believe.
Visualising love and abundance in your experience of your reality is therefore possible. You can choose to feel empowered, or you can choose to feel forever in a state of lack, ineffective in your own life and without the ability to choose how to think, feel, and respond to your life. Rather than give energy and focus to feeling hurt, angry, resentful, hopeless or disempowered in any way, you can decide to see, feel and experience love instead.
Love yourself. Be kind and compassionate to yourself and cease the self-blame and judgment. Love the person you are. Decide to see your world and others in it as beings of light and love who are there to assist you with your soul growth, in the positive and challenging experiences. You can imagine, visualise, and create the way you want to experience your life. Put colour into your life and enjoy being you.
“Be your greatest version”. (Ralph Smart)
“The Power of Soul Loving - A Spiritual Guide to Love and Freedom”
By Rebecca Gabrielle (Balboa Press, 2019, Ch 16, Stepping into your Soul Power)
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Rebecca Gabrielle, author of "The Power of Soul Loving - a spiritual guide to love and freedom".
Rebecca Gabrielle has been able to see the magnificence and truth of people’s souls from an early age. With a background in psychology, counselling, life-coaching, spiritual development, and energy healing, Rebecca has fine-tuned her psychic and intuitive skills to connect with the Divine to receive and deliver messages of unconditional love. Through her writing, soul-coaching and card readings she assists people to reconnect with their true self so they can experience clarity, peace of mind, joy and passion for doing what they love.